power and relationships

[sutz]

Although as a pastor, it sometimes felt like I had no authority, I actually know the reverse to be true. I had lots of authority. I saw the truth of this when a congregation member became a pastor - the increase in authority was stunning to her. I saw it too in the relational conflicts I had with my step-son - after awhile it dawned on me that I was too quickly assuming an authority that he wasn't giving me. I imagine that I was operating out of a "pastoral role" and authority with him, instead of recognizing that our relationship needed to develop on its own with its own dynamic.

I recall with some pain encounters in the course of pastoral ministry with people who came to the church for help. I wasn't always a good representative of Christ. Whether it was that I didn't like to be interrupted, or I didn't like to be lied to, in those moments I was something less than Jesus called me to be, or rather there was more of myself present than was helpful. Forgive me, Lord. Overtime we managed to learn more about the traps that people find themselves in and develop a better approach for responding to these types of situations. I too have become more aware of some of the hidden things that drive me. I wish I could say that I wasn't comfortable in that seat of power and authority, but often, I was.