Biblical Restoration

[jmccabe1]

I am struck by the line "It seems to me that biblical restoration involves returning to a place of divine provision" (91). This resonates with me as I find I'm often longing for "soul rest" in the face of anxiety about provision in the present and future. Typically I try to deal with my lack of satisfaction by providing for myself - more entertainment, more family time, more food, more drink, more knowledge - and while there is a temporary satisfaction that comes with most of these things, it is very rarely soul satisfying. The moments and seasons of deep satisfaction in my life have consisted of realizing my true condition before the Holy God of the universe, and literally forgetting about myself and the ways I might provide for myself, because He is so much greater and so much more able than I am. The Provider has consistently met my needs in ways that I didn't anticipate... and yet I still listen to my felt needs and long for satisfaction. Is that appropriate? Should I have learned otherwise?
While I have personally experienced the Lord's work in this way many times in my life, I am often hesitant to translate this fact into my leadership context, because I wonder if I am somehow unique in relating to the Lord in this way. Perhaps my need for "letting go" and "receiving" is unique to my background, circumstances and personality? Then again, "letting go" seems essential to following Jesus, because we have to leave our old ways behind. Once those former ways are left, and we are emptied of our self-reliance, it allows for a clear witness to God's provision, which does seem very good.