ShepherdLeader.com

I am probably starting to sound like a broken record here, but how much of this “vigilance� and “busyness� is normal and expected and part of doing our jobs well and how much of it is an unhealthy belief that nothing spiritually significant will happen without our presence, a fear that others won’t be able to accomplish a certain task as well as ourselves, etc. Again, I am coming from the perspective of having witnessed one too many pastors sacrifice his and his family’s well-being for the sake of “shepherding the flock.� Simply put, many congregations expect the pastor to be present for every church function. Eugene Peterson has a wonderful autobiographical story about this in Under the Unpredictable Plant – one night his daughter asked him to read her a bedtime story and he said he couldn’t because he had to go to a church meeting. Her reply left him speechless: “This is the thirty-seventh night in a row you’ve had to go to a church meeting.� It almost goes without saying that this was a major turning point in his vocation and the beginning of his journey toward contemplative ministry. He stopped attending finance meetings, building committee meetings, etc. and devoted himself to the spiritual direction of the flock. When are the occasions the senior pastor’s presence is absolutely critical and when is it just another darn meeting? And what about people who take advantage of pastors’ natural tendency to care and help?
And what does it look like for me to be the shepherd of my family first and the church second? I think most (hopefully all) would say they agree to “family first,� but…(you know the rest). How does shepherding my family first realistically play out in the crucible of vocational ministry? Usually not too well – at least in my own experience – I’m afraid.
I have heard that Andy Stanley, pastor of NorthPoint Community Church in Atlanta (a super-mega-church, around 20,000 attendees, I think) does not work more than 40 hours per week (and expects the same for all of his staff). I haven’t verified this from the horse’s mouth, but it’s something I’ve heard repeated in church circles more than once. If it’s true, it’s pretty incredible.

I did a quick Internet search on Andy Stanley's work week, and I think the number is 45. But that's still impressive for a megachurch senior pastor. My sense is that from the beginning Andy had a staff to work with - his name and background probably means that he never started "from scratch." But I still respect his boundaries.

I have to say, though, that I don't think Scripture lifts up either "family first" or "church first." Both approaches to life can be driven by self rather than kingdom motivations.

Many years ago I read "Balancing Life's Demands" by J. Grant Howard. It was a freeing book for me. Howard argues that the attempt to sequence our "priorities" 1-2-3 and so on is not a biblical focus. Rather the goal is "balance." A better analogy than a list is a wheel. God is at the center, and everything else flows from the center like spokes, always connected to him.

Frankly, there are times that the church must come before family. But if that becomes "thirty-seven nights in a row," then I do, indeed, need to examine my Messiah complex and my need to be needed. The Lord also called me to be a husband and father, and he does, indeed, give sleep to those he loves as a reminder that he doesn't need a 24/7 hand from me to keep his world or his work going.