"I am with you always, to the end of the age." Mt. 28:20 (ESV) -- Do I believe this? I struggle with accepting God's unconditional love because I don't understand it. I often feel I let Him down and that out of frustration He leaves me. I find myself begging Him back. Insecurity has led me to question so much - my baptism, my faith, God's love for me, my strengths.... but to accept that He is always with me is to accept that He always loves me.
I spend so much time wanting to see Him -- in the quiet of my dimly lit living room He is there. If you are always with me why don't I always see, feel, or hear You? What blinds me to Your always present presence? Is is unholiness -- sexual thoughts, worry, fear, addictions, complacency, doubt, insecurities, etc?
I hear the birds singing in the morning dark and I am reminded that God works in the darkness, in the darkness of my soul God is there. Sing Your healing music in the darkness of my soul, bring darkness to light so that I may know of Your always present presence; in Jesus' name I pray!
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