Many years ago I read Henri Nouwen's "The Return of the Prodigal Son". I read it as a journey from son to Father's heart. It was time in my life that I was discovering my "bearings" or calling as pastor. It was an exciting time where I recognized both the vastness of the calling, and my very real need for God to walk me through this new landscape. This past year the wilderness was a more terrible place. The map was less clear, and there were times I felt I was getting lost there. As a Christian, remembering my need for God, and His promises of provisions are good experiences. But to learn these to a greater measure often requires the wilderness: the agony of feeling alone in ministry, the painful silence of God, the ugly voices of inadequacies, the threats of wild church members (!)... When I was trudging through some of this rough terrain of conflict, and experiencing the crisis of calling I would have told you that I would never want a friend to go through this. Now having come through, I wouldn't want to lose the experience. God chose the rough terrain to reaffirm my calling, and remind me of vision as I desperately prayed and read my word.